I Am Not the Hero

Good morning, friends. Sitting at my computer, hands on the keyboard, thinking about my chilly morning walk and the [iced] pumpkin spice latte that resides in my very near future, and I am filled with pure joy. This is my time of year. Wrap me in a thick warm blanket and bring on winter! I’m more than ready…

Circumstances in this very busy Fall season have me thinking and studying about traveling well through difficult situations.

We have faced physical health issues and a major knee surgery for my daughter. We have walked through financial challenges with rising costs of living, and the subsequent stress of adjusting our lives to fit within our modest income, once again.

That usually means more cooking in, less going out. [i.e., more work, less fun.]

These particular stresses, the kind that just go on and on with no end in sight, can really start getting to me.

“The Lord will accomplish that which concerns me; Your [unwavering] lovingkindness, O Lord, endures forever – Do not abandon the works of Your own hands.”

Psalm 138:8 AMP

A Surgery Story

My child was in pain after her surgery, and we had problems getting her pain meds due to issues outside of our control. At one point, because of someone else’s miscommunication, it became abundantly clear that she would not have pain meds for FOUR DAYS in the FIRST WEEK after major surgery.

I was devastated and immediately went to the Lord. “Lord, if you do not intervene, we will not succeed! We must have this medicine, so please help us!”

“Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.”

Psalm 27:14 AMP

Single Hotel Room

I stayed in a hotel room alone for the first time in my life just a few years ago. I don’t get to do it much, but I love to travel, and I love staying in good hotels. However, I had never stayed in one alone, and I was afraid.

The hotel I was in was nice, but it was older and super creepy at night.

This one particular night, I was afraid to go to sleep. I spent some time praying over my room until I felt peace, but when it was time to close my eyes, I could not relax. I left a light on in the bathroom to provide myself with some mental safety, but it… and my fear… were keeping me awake!

Finally, I prayed for God to help me, and He said matter-of-factly to my spirit, “You either trust Me, or you don’t.”

I’ve walked a long road with the Lord, and in that moment, I knew He wanted to see my faith and trust in Him on bold display. So I got up out of my bed, walked over and turned off the light, then laid down and put my life back into God’s hands. “I trust You, Lord. If any bad guys or foul spirits want to talk to me tonight, they’re going to have to go through YOU because I’m going to SLEEP.”

And I did just that, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night… because God is my Hero.

“But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, they will walk and not grow tired.” 

Isaiah 40:31 AMP

Meds on Repeat

As I sat there early on that Friday morning, crying out to the Lord for His help, stories like my single hotel room experience started coming to mind. I was reminded in that moment that I am not my hero, God is. Do I trust Him, or don’t I?

The pharmacy had previously told me that if I didn’t pay the additional $100 up front to get the full 84 pain pills, then I could just come back and get more when we needed them. The insurance company only paid for 36 pills.

I was a rookie, so I had no idea that 84 pills were only for one week, and 36 pills would only last three days. I asked the pharmacy what to do, and they said I could come back and get more whenever I wanted.

I laugh at that now. I’m not sure who I spoke with, but they were, unfortunately, very incorrect. That initial prescription was voided as soon as I took 36 pills. And when I called to get more, they said I would need a new prescription, but that my doctor would not be able to write another one for SEVEN DAYS.

One small amount of clear communication, and we could have avoided all of this.

Upon finding out that my poor daughter would be without pain meds for four days, and after asking the Lord for His wisdom, I started calling every number I knew in connection with her surgery. I was calm, I was not mean to anyone, but I allowed my urgency and near panicked state to be evident until someone heard my heart and got me in touch with the right person.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sure this is not the right number, but I need help and I don’t know who to call. Here’s my situation…”

The last man I spoke with cut me off and said, “Ma’am, you need to speak with a Care Coordinator. I’ll transfer you to her right now.” I took a deep breath to steady my patience… but miracle of miracles, she picked up the phone on the first ring.

I’m still more thankful than I can say for this calm and steady employee who let me know, in no uncertain terms, that the pharmacy had been incorrect a second time. Since I only took 36 pills, our doctor could write a prescription for another 36 and just send it to a different pharmacy. That 7-day policy was for that particular pharmacy, not a general rule for the doctor, as it had been communicated.

One small ounce of careful, clear, and concise information given at just the right moment can be priceless.

I was so relieved! Getting my daughter’s meds took work each time, unfortunately, but we were able to get what we needed before we ever ran out… and we never had to pay the extra $100. I thank God for that.

“I put no trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but You give us victory over our enemies, You put our adversaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise Your name forever.“

Psalm 44:6-8 ESV

Loss of Employment

Just this week, we found out that we are also facing loss of employment in this current season… just before the holidays… which feels like one more huge circumstance on a pile of huge circumstances. We have felt the heaviness of it, and during times like these, it takes focus to stay in faith, but that is what we are determined to do! GOD is the Hero, we are NOT.

I Am Not the Hero

When I found out about the employment circumstance, I got into my car to go home, and the first thought in my mind was to turn on the radio. I often drive in silence, but followed that thought anyway because I was in need. The song playing right then said this, “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me. His plans for me are good!” It made me cry.

Just a few hours later, after going home and sorting through things with my husband, a song popped into my mind that I hadn’t heard in years! It said, “All things are working for my good, ’cause He’s intentional, never failing.” I sang that song off and on for two days because it kept coming to mind.

Later than night, as I sat in my bed, I had the thought to read Hebrews 6. I almost didn’t because I’ve been in Hebrews 6 a lot and I was tired, but I pulled out my Bible and flipped to that page. I read…

“And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”

Hebrews 6:11-12

“For when God made a promise to Abraham, because He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself,  saying, “Surely blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply you.”  And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.“

Hebrews 6:13-15

God is My Hero

If I am not the hero of my own story, then I do not have to depend on my own strength to win the war. It’s not my strength that I need, it’s His… and He gives it willingly and abundantly. We just have to look for it and grab hold of it.

If my victory does not depend upon me, then I don’t have to twist my brain and exhaust myself to figure anything out. All I have to do is trust and follow.

Giving up control is scary, especially during hard circumstances. Yes, we will update our resume and search for a new job. Yes, we will apply for everything and consider a new field of work. But NO, we will not worry, struggle, or strive in this season. We will not live in a frenzy of emotions and end up fighting amongst ourselves. We will not allow our joy and our sleep to be stolen away by fear. WE WILL REST and TRUST that our Hero will come through for us.

He’s never failed us, yet.

But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”

John 5:17 NLT

Truths to Remember

God is your Hero, too. He does not care for one of His children more than another. He does not play favorites. Just as I have received faith, comfort, and encouragement in the midst of my circumstances, so can you! He is always speaking to us. Read His Word, look and listen for His voice. Seek Him and you WILL find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13).

Even in the midst of tough circumstances, trust in God and let it go. Letting go means putting it completely in God’s hands and turning around. Treat that thing like it doesn’t exist if you have to, but stop picking it back up! You do what God leads you to do, and then you let God be God.

His way is better.  We can only do things on a human, surface level, but He works from the inside out.  He can see all the way to the center of the issue, and He can speak directly into someone’s heart.  If He wills it, then He will do it.

Don’t set yourself at the head of the table. No need to manipulate your way into any situation, even if you know that’s God’s direction for you. No need to compete with others and make sure everyone knows you’re the best. Believe me, I’ve tried it. You might get what you want in the moment, but heart issues like manipulation and competition will always expose themselves in the end. If God wills it, then HE will do it. Otherwise, you do not want it!

Getting tired of the journey?  Me, too, at times! If we actively trust God (not passively), doing His will and waiting on Him, then His spirit will rise up in us and we will be newly energized!  Maybe it’s through rest and taking some time off.  Maybe it’s through spiritual fasting while we keep moving forward.  However He leads us, He will strengthen us and we will rise up like eagles and soar, IF we will wait upon the Lord (Isaiah 40:31). 

God is our Hero. If He does not come through, then we will not succeed. He is our only Hope… and that gives me so much peace.

“This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]—a safe and steadfast hope…”

Hebrews 6:19a AMP