Keep the Door Open

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Anytime I’m hanging out in my bedroom… reading, writing, listening to music, cleaning, folding laundry… whatever I’m doing, I keep my door open about six inches. Even if it’s 11:00 PM and I’m sitting in my bed with the light on, I want my family to know I’m available even up to the last minute of the day.

I can see straight down the hallway from my spot on the bed, so if my older son peaks his head around the corner at the other end, I call out to him. There’s only one reason he does that, and that’s to see if Mom’s still up so he can tell me about some interesting thing he has going on.

It’s very sweet.

I used to keep my door closed. The house was loud, I’d had a long day, and I wanted to be alone. I wanted space away from my family. I guess I started that when the kids were little and I’d spent all day at home alone with them. Time away with the door shut was a sort of reprieve from the day’s pressures. I also experienced depression then, so that quiet time was a necessity for my sanity and their well-being.

But as the years have passed, and as the Lord has brought deep healing into my battered soul, I no longer feel the need to shut everybody out.

Sure, I’m an introvert and I still need time to recharge, but my door is always open.

I leave it open so my husband and children know I am available even in my downtime. I want them to know and believe that I want to hear what they have to say. I welcome the opportunity to hear about their day, or listen to the new song they can’t get over… I want to stop what I’m doing to come see whatever new project they’ve been working on… and Yes! I would love to massage their sore neck or scratch their itchy back for the next ten minutes while we laugh and talk over whatever comes to mind.

I want them to know that my thoughts about them are welcoming. “Please come in! I’m happy to see your face.”

When I had a private office at work, even then I kept my door open about six inches. It was often loud in the hallway, so I didn’t want it wide open. However, I wanted the students I advised to know they could walk in to see me anytime. No appointment needed! I kept a brightly colored sign on my doorknob that said, “Welcome! Please come in!” It had a smiling sunshine on it that reinforced my happy message.

A few years ago, I traded my private office for an open spot behind a glass wall. I’m the first thing you see when you turn the corner toward the elevator, so I get to say hi to students and coworkers all day, which I love. Some students are still careful about just coming straight in to see me, and I appreciate their show of respect, but I remind them every time that my door is always open. I’m happy to help!

Depression Looks Down

One of the hallmarks of depression is a “down” countenance. Head down, shoulders down, eyes on the floor. Depression looks down instead of UP to God, it looks in instead of OUT to others… and it isolates instead of leaving the door OPEN.

When I began putting in the work to overcome depression, I would always catch myself looking down, constantly hanging my head under worry and pressure. In those moments, I would force myself to put my head up, stand tall, and pull my shoulders back. I would physically shake the heaviness off, and repeat to myself, “Depression looks down, but I am looking up to God! He is where my help comes from, in Jesus’ name!”

Quick note: It’s important to change the atmosphere around you in those moments, as well. Put on energetic praise music and dance, or step outside to soak up the sunshine. Passivity won’t beat depression. You have to take action. (For more on this, read “Knee Surgery, Depression, and Changing the Atmosphere.”)

Now that I am on the other side of depression, on the other side of having small children, and approaching so many empty nesting years, I no longer want my life to be closed off to family, friends, and the things of God. I want to keep my eyes UP and my door OPEN to all who come near as a sign of who my God truly is!

And… just in case my sweet sons or beloved daughter want to peak down the hall to see if Mom’s available, those six inches of open door are constantly saying, “YES! Please come in! I am happy to see your face and hear your voice!”

My Yes is Love

When I was learning to have a real relationship with God, I learned that trusting in His love and leadership means being WILLING to do whatever He asks of me. I mean, I spent a long time doing things MY way… but a lot of this life honestly feels like wandering around in the dark, and God is the only one who knows the way home! So anytime I believed He was directing me, I trained myself to immediately say, “YES, I will do that,” and then I would quickly get to work doing that thing.

Not because I needed to earn something from Him, but because HE loved me so much that I wanted to bless Him, to please Him, and to make His heart happy…

That’s my open door to the Lord. My obedience. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. I still stumble around like a child from time to time… we ALL do. My point is that my open door to the Lord wouldn’t have been possible without HIS door being open to me first.

At every turn, in good times and bad, when I’ve won and when I’ve fallen on my face, His constant answer to me has always been “Come to Me!” He often says to me, “I don’t want you to worry. Just trust Me.”

I have found deep wells of peace in His comfort.

That’s His open-door policy for me… for all of us… and I pray you hear Him saying to you right now, “Just come to Me. I’m SO happy to see your face and hear your voice!”

He never misses an opportunity to love His kids. I want to pass that on to mine, and I want to pass that on to YOU, as well. No matter where we are in life, He will love us and His door is always open. Just like I may have my two cents to put in [respectfully] about the choices my kids are making, the Father does bring correction to those He loves… and I have come to welcome His correction above all else. I need His instructions! But even then, He will not nag me or condemn me, and He will never leave me or forsake me. He knows that one day, even when I am steeped in pride and running full-speed away from His plans for my life… one day soon He will see my head peak around the corner to see if He’s still available… and He will call out to me once again, “Come to Me! My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”