Letting Go

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I am typing away on a Saturday morning, relaxing at a random university table while waiting for my daughter to perform her Humorous Duet at a state Speech & Debate competition. I just happen to work at this university, so it’s been fun to give my daughter and her team backstage access to additional resting and practicing spaces that are off the beaten path. It has helped to relieve the pressure, at least a little bit. It’s been a fun couple of days!

For the next few weeks I’m going to write about one of my favorite topics: Letting Go.  I’ve written about this many times, and usually end up weaving it into most of my writing. The ability to let go of things and let God do His work [without my help, which He does not need] saved my life, changed my life, and continues to give me peace. 

Peace Like a River

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

Psalm 46:4

Many years ago, I sat on the bank of a nearby lake, listening to worship music and the sounds of the breeze as it moved through the trees and over the water. I watched tiny waves ripple across the top of the water, nudged by the wind from right to left. 

It was my habit back then to find places in nature when I felt heavy or depressed. It was part of a “toolbox” I created to help myself overcome those low moments I hated so much. I got out of my “four walls,” took a walk in the fresh air, soaked in the sunshine’s vitamin D, and prayed for God’s help. [For more about my toolbox for overcoming depression, click here.]

That people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides Me; I am the Lord, and there is no other.

Isaiah 45:6

That day on the bank, with my eyes fixed on the water, I saw a picture in my mind of a woman standing chin-deep in a mighty river. The water beckoned her to move along with its flow, but she was afraid of where it would take her… if the water would leave her stranded, or even lead to her destruction.

Her resistance to the water’s pull left her exhausted. Even so, she dug her toes into the riverbed with all her might and held on to her familiar place in the mud.

As time moved on, the water flowed a little faster, rose a little higher. Now it was up to her mouth and splashing onto her face. She could feel panic welling up. She tipped her head back to breathe above the surface of the river, and put every bit of remaining strength into embracing her tiny spot in the mire.

If the power or depth of this river increased even one inch more, if this woman refused to finally let go of the security and familiarity of the riverbed, she would be overtaken. She would be dragged under by the weight and pressure of her circumstances.

The only way for her to finally be at peace was to fully Let Go. Instead of resisting the river [God], submit to it, flow with it. Instead of succumbing to the downward pull of the undercurrent [circumstances], rise up and float to the surface. The choice was hers. Did she want the peace of God, or did she want her own way? She couldn’t have both.

I knew in that moment that I wasn’t waiting on God, He was waiting on me.

Letting Go Means Letting God Bring Change

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

My cup was already full. I had already lined the walls of my life with my own ways of doing things. I had already carved out familiar paths for handling the circumstances of life that brought me a sense of “holding it together.” 

My mind was filled to the brim with lists-upon-lists, and rules and regulations about how to do things right. I didn’t need help, I didn’t need suggestions, I already knew how to do it…

It wasn’t until the Lord brought me to that “sitting by the lake” season of life when all of my own ways failed me, that I finally began to see that I was stuck. I had been imprisoned by the bruises of life and couldn’t find my way out. I had deep and hidden wounds, festering and septic, in my mind, will, and emotions that could only be healed by allowing the Lord to open them up and clean them out. 

It was during that painful season that I learned the importance of laying myself down on God’s operating table and letting Him perform the reparative surgery I needed for my long term healing. This is where I learned about His enduring love: 

1. He loves me deeply. (Ephesians 3:17-19)
2. He will never leave me or forsake me. (Romans 8:38-39, Deuteronomy 31:8)
3. He fights for me. (Psalm 44:1-3, Psalm 18)
4. He will take care of everything that concerns me. (Psalm 138:8)
5. I am written on the palms of His hands; my walls are ever before Him. (Isaiah 49:15-16)
6. He has called me by name; I am His. (Isaiah 43:1)

I am in no way perfect, but any confidence, peace, or internal stability that I have in my life is wholly based on the fact that I believe and have accepted that God knows me fully and loves me unconditionally. He doesn’t want to change me so He can love me. He loves me, so He wants me to be healed.

When I had only heard of His love, but had not yet accepted it for myself, even after receiving Christ and after many years of being in church, I resisted His instructions because I did not trust Him like I thought I did. I believed He wanted me to change myself into something more acceptable so that He could finally love me. Because I could not change myself, no one can, I believed He was angry with me, frustrated with me, and tired of my constant failure.

I journeyed around and around and around this mountain for many, many years. I write these blogs so others don’t have to do the same.

Our need for control comes from pain. It’s not true for everyone, but it is true for many. Life handed us some pretty hefty lemons, and chaos feels safer when we are in the driver’s seat. But that safe feeling is an exhausting counterfeit version of the free and peaceful life God prepared for us.

His healing is ready for you. Are you ready to receive it?

Letting Go Means Letting God Bring Peace

They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.

Jeremiah 6:14

The Lord is a God of peace. His ways bring peace. He does not give like the world gives… hiding our symptoms under layers of coping mechanisms, or yanking peace away right when we need it. He gives us a permanent source of peace through the Advocate, the Holy Spirit who “teaches us all things, and reminds us of what His Word says” (John 14:26-27). 

Just like the woman I saw in my mind, God’s plan for my peace could only begin if I would Let Go and let Him do His work. By resisting change, I was sinking my feet down into the mud and resisting Him. 

By holding onto control of my own life and refusing to flow with the direction of God’s river [resisting His instructions for my life], I unknowingly pushed away all the peace and freedom I regularly prayed for… and it wasn’t doing me any favors. 

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Letting go of things means releasing it into God’s hands. It means picking up every single part of whatever problem we are facing, turning to God and saying, “Lord, I don’t know how to do this. I’m going to mess it up, I can feel it! So, here… This is Yours now. Please make it into what YOU want it to be.” And then turning around and refusing to take it back. [That’s the part we struggle with.]

1. I will not put my hands back on that situation.
2. I will not think about that situation.
3. When it comes to mind, I will put my hands up and release it to the Lord again.
4. How God works or speaks on my behalf will be none of my business.
5. I will pray His Word and thank Him for His sovereignty.

"Thank you, Lord, that You are working behind the scenes on my behalf. Thank You that You are working things out for my good, and for the good of others. You are speaking where only You can speak. You are moving where only You can move. Your ways are higher than mine! I thank You, God, that You desire healing on EVERY side of this issue, not just mine. It's all for Your glory, in Jesus' name."

Letting Go Means Letting God Have Our Lives

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

For those of us who have found peace and safety in being in control, letting go feels wrong. 

It feels irresponsible to take our hands off of something instead of constantly making sure it’s going to be okay… constantly scheming and manipulating to make things happen the way we want them to… constantly trying to fix our every mistake… constantly begging God for the outcome we want. 

Instead of bringing the internal peace we truly desire, all of our controlling behaviors only make every situation worse. Stress and anxiety increase. Worries abound. Fears take over. Relationships suffer. 

If we will simply open our hands and let the Holy Spirit teach us to do things God’s way… putting ourselves aside, obeying His commands, living our lives by His Word… we will finally have lasting peace, even in the midst of every storm.

It’s not easy, but His grace makes it possible.

We’ll talk more about this in the coming weeks as we study Letting Go of Self, Letting Go of Others, and Letting Go of Outcomes. He never leaves us alone to figure it out all by ourselves. He is with us.

In His hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.

Job 12:10