Overcoming Rejection

We all experience rejection from time to time. It doesn’t necessarily feel good, but it’s a normal part of life.

I know from experience that rejection and approval addiction are probably the most difficult enemies to beat because they typically originate with things that happened to us in childhood, and are usually very deeply ingrained in us. Rejection can become part of the basic fabric of our lives.

The Truth About Rejection

The truth is that these difficult foes, rejection and approval addiction, have already been defeated for us, in Jesus’ name. And even though we may not be able to choose how we feel about things, we do have the power, not only to “choose” what we believe in these areas, but also to put our choices into action, which is the true test of believing. (James 2:14-26)

• Jesus was rejected first. He knows what we’re going through!
  
  • “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” John 15:18
    
  • “He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.” John 1:11
    
  • “He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Isaiah 53:3
    
• He went first in rejection so He could conquer it FOR us!
  
  • “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” Psalm 27:10
    
  • “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
    
  • “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.” Isaiah 49:15
    
  • “…having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace…” Ephesians 1:5-7
    
• Once we have found unconditional acceptance in Christ and made that our foundation, we will not live for the shallow pleasures of human approval.
  
  • “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:6
    
  • “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

Because of our past experiences, and because of the lies we have believed about ourselves for so many years, it is difficult to take God’s Word and just automatically believe the exact opposite. Those crafty lies… that shifty recording we hear over and over in our own minds… seem so true, and they are hard to refute!

But the devil is a liar. The only thing he can do is lie. So if you believe anything about yourself that is contrary to the Word of God, you can rest assured that you are believing a lie.

Breaking the Torment of Rejection

A tool that I still use to this day to battle the voice of rejection is to refuse to believe that someone doesn't like me, or is angry with me, unless they come to me and let me know directly, as the Bible instructs them to do (Matthew 18:15).  If they haven't come to me, then I will not believe it.  

(There are only two exceptions that I make to this rule.  One is with my children.  I differ with them because I am responsible to teach them how to handle conflict, so if they are distant, I check in with them to find out why.  The second is when I know and am convicted by the Holy Spirit  about something specific that I need to apologize for.  Then I will go to the person directly and make things right.)

If someone is distant with me, or if they didn't look at me or say hi to me, I refuse to believe that any of that is because they don't like me or are angry with me, or I have done something wrong that I am not aware of.   They are most likely NOT thinking about me at all!  (Shocking, I know.)  They are probably busy, or distracted, or didn't see me.  Or maybe they are sick, or depressed, or dealing with something in that moment.  We could all use a little grace, especially with those we are supposed to love and care for.  

Did we go and say hi to them when they didn't say hi to us?  If we didn't... and if we sunk into "they are mad at me"... then we are probably afflicted by a spirit of rejection, and we need the Lord's healing in some area(s) of our lives.  

Unfortunately, the things that caused the overall rejection can make us a little bit too self-focused.  Sometimes, when things get really bad, all we can see is rejection coming from every direction.  Believe me, I've been exactly there and it's all smoke and mirrors.  Yes, the pain is real... yes, the thing that caused it is real... but the strategy of the enemy is to steal, kill, and destroy by piggy-backing on that real pain in your life and making you think you're worthless.  That is the true weapon in the hand of rejection, and it's a flat-out lie.

These are all the typical lies of Satan against those who are tormented by rejection, and once you begin to refuse them... in God's strength, not your own... they are easily recognizable as lies.  I am in charge of what I believe and what I do not.  The enemy tormented me with "what ifs" for decades, but now they have no power over me because of the truth of God's Word.  You can also be free from this torment by putting God's Word into action.

Find the Root and Cast it Off!

It’s important to find the root of rejection… where it started in our lives… especially if we are tormented by it and feel worthless in the center of who we are. There is real pain and devastation that happens in life, and there is deep and complete healing available in Christ. If you are in this situation, reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, pastor, or Biblical counselor. You are so very important to the Lord, and your enemy is already defeated, in Jesus’ name. Now it’s time to walk out of the cage you have lived in for so long!

Know you are being lied to and let it make you righteously angry, in Jesus’ name. And then cast off the lies and replace them with all the amazing things GOD has to say about you… and those around you! His Word is true! He can be trusted!

He is not an angry God waiting to punish you for all you have done wrong. He is a loving Father, waiting with open arms to place His robe upon your shoulders, His ring upon your finger, and His shoes upon your feet! (Luke 15:20-24)

Whether you are dealing with fear or rejection… or anger, anxiety, or sin… the Father has something better for you in His Word. Take some time to do a word search on anything you are facing today. Take a moment to write down the truth and let it begin to wash over you and renew your mind.

God’s Word is true, and we have the power to choose whether or not we believe it. If we have not put our “belief” into action… if our lives have not been changed by it… then we have not truly believed. (James 2:14-26) But it’s not too late to start now!