Living Without Strife

I want to live a small, quiet life. I want to live a life at peace with God, and with those around me. I like to work, and I want to help others… especially those who need the same freedom the Lord has given me… but I want to do it as my true self, and not as some false mold I’m trying to press myself into.

Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. 

Titus 3:1-2

The Bible says, “where envying and strife (self-seeking) exist, there is confusion and every evil work” (James 3:6). It’s interesting to me that some versions refer to strife as “self-seeking.” 

I used to tell my kids when they were little and fighting constantly that it takes TWO people to have an argument, so if I heard one more thing out of them, they would BOTH get in trouble. That put an end to a lot of squabbles! 

No one wants to be wrong. No one wants to let it go and be silent. This is where we can see that strife is “self-seeking.” Arguments increase because no one will back down or back out. Just think how many fights and disagreements we could end simply by removing ourselves from the situation. 

Proverbs 26:20 says, “For lack of wood, the fire goes out. Where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” Proverbs 17:14 says, “The beginning of strife is like opening a floodgate, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.” 

It’s ok to refuse to fight. It’s ok to not be heard. 

You’ve heard it said to “choose your battles.” There are times when you will need to stand up for one thing or another. Stand up for your kids, stand up against injustice, stand up for what’s right… but this can be done without stirring up strife, without anger and haughty words, without malice and hate. 

It is fully possible to stand up for what is right without opening the door to strife, confusion, and every evil work. Sometimes your point will come across better when you are in charge of your emotions and maintaining a level of respect for others.

When we do the work to block strife, we will notice increased peace in every area of life!

I’ve had my years of living in strife. Sometimes it was from fighting to be heard, fighting for everyone to know I was right. Other times it was from trying to be someone I’m not… full of envy and selfish ambition… working hard to get ahead and be the favorite.

These days, we have peace in our home, peace in our lives, and I’m so thankful.

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.  But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us…

Titus 3:3-5a

Inner Strife

I recently realized that I had a level of internal strife that was eating me up and undermining my faith. It wasn’t from external fighting or some outward injustice, but the effects were the same. 

I was internally stressed, lacking peace, and full of fear.

The Lord showed me that I had been trying to put on some other identity like an ill-fitting garment. Trying to be someone I’m not. Trying to “measure up” to those around me, when I have all the identity and purpose I could ever want in Christ Jesus.

I have no peace when I’m trying to make myself into something instead of resting in who I already am in Christ. I have no joy when I’m striving to press myself into someone else’s mold, or a false mold of my own making. 

I can simply be who I already am. This is my part in removing myself from the argument, and removing strife’s hold on my heart.

Simply believing that God’s Word is true… this is how we “remove the wood so the fire goes out.” This is how we safeguard our own hearts and allow the streams of our lives to be cleansed.

My peace is now restored, and I thank God for that.

Shut It Down

If you’re experiencing internal or external strife, now is the time to seek God about doing your part to shut it down. Wherever there is strife, there is every evil work. Experiencing stress or fear? Not sleeping at night? Unable to stop chronically worrying over something and release it to God? Feeling like life is falling down around you? Has an old stronghold of sin resurfaced at the same time? These are the types of things that happen when a door has been opened to strife. It tears down and destroys where God wants to build and restore.

Pray and ask God how to break strife’s hold on your life and begin to reverse its effects. He’s ready to help you. He’s ready to exchange it all for peace. The answer is in His Word. 

…He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Titus 3:5-7