Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
It’s the end of a long, productive day… and I’m sitting in bed, ready to go to sleep. I’m always the first to crash, usually between 8:30 and 10:00, so I can still hear the muffled sounds of my husband and son on the other side of the house. It’s been a good day.
This has been a challenging season for our family, but we are at peace. We are in the middle of a few situations we can do nothing about, so we just keep moving forward. We can’t change anything, so why let it get us down? All we have to do is take the next right step, stand and keep standing (Ephesians 6:13), and God will handle the rest.
Knee Surgery
My daughter, our youngest child, needs a knee surgery. She injured herself in a freak accident, dancing in the stands at a football game, and next week will have surgery for complete ACL reconstruction and meniscus repair. That’s her right knee. She spent the two weeks before that nursing a pinched sciatic nerve in her left hip. Now that she has been hopping along without full use of her right leg, that left hip has flared up again, so the pain is hitting her from both sides.
She’s a trooper, mind you. She’s been going to school, still making it to band practices and theatre meetings, and her attitude has been pretty great!
I’ve been concerned about the surgery and recovery experience for her, so I’ve been praying for her quite a bit. Little did I know that a wave of emotion was about to strike that would leave her feeling devastated.
In all of her trying to push through the pain, doing her best to reflect a positive image, and fighting to keep up with her obligations and relationships, our baby girl hit a wall. After two weeks of forward motion and going along just fine, the dam broke and every pain, fear, heartbreak, and disappointment that she had been shoving down and putting on the back burner came out like a tidal wave.
She wanted everyone to think she was fine, but she had been carrying the mental weight of her situation all by herself. Then all of a sudden, she came to a breaking point and was very much not okay.
For 24 hours, she cried over the continuous and unstoppable hurt in her body, and her inability to function normally. She mourned over feeling like she’s letting everyone down by being in a wheelchair, and having to miss school so often due to the pain. And then she let me know she’s been understandably afraid of the surgery, and of the following weeks of recovery and physical therapy.
I so wish I could take this away from her, but I can’t. Looking at it from a different angle, I know God takes situations like these and turns them around to build us, strengthen us, and give us hope for the future, and I know He’s taking care of her. So, I prayed for God to give her His peace, and to help me have His wisdom!
Changing the Atmosphere
I ended up taking the day off just to get her out of the house. We grabbed lunch on the way to the mall, and talked about all she’s been feeling as we drove. At the mall, I pushed her around in her wheelchair to as many stores as she wanted to visit, not buying anything, but dreaming and talking and laughing at all the silly things we saw there.
I made dumb jokes that I knew would make her laugh, and gave her a hard time in our normal, funny way. I took every opportunity to laugh with her, smile at her, and give her hugs.
Then we got Boba and headed home to watch a fun, uplifting movie.
By the time we were done at the mall, my daughter’s countenance had lifted. She was still in pain, and still exhausted from her storm of emotions, but she was lighter and smiling once again. I thank God for that.
Depression Hurts
If I had never been through depression and gotten to the other side of it, I never would have known how to help my kid. I might have stayed at work and let her just deal with it, thinking “there’s nothing I can do,” because I would have been dealing with it, too. But God had a different plan.
These days, I know that depression is not something we just have to live with, it’s something we are able to FIGHT and OVERCOME, with God’s help!
My depression was long-term, lasting more than a decade, but my daughter was only down for 24 hours. What God has taught me works for both. If you’re experiencing a low point right now, here are a few truths to take from this story…
- Talk About It! Pushing down our emotions and hiding our struggles will never end well. We will either implode and get depressed, or we will explode and alienate ourselves from those around us. This doesn’t mean we have to tell everyone everything that’s going on, but we do need to tell a trusted SOMEone. Just speaking it out can be so freeing, but that’s probably the most difficult step.
. - Soak Up Serotonin! One of the greatest things I learned in the midst of my season of depression is simply that the sun gives our bodies vitamin D, and vitamin D helps the body develop serotonin… which is the happy hormone. When I finally decided to fight against depression, I spent regular time soaking in the sun, 10-15 minutes at a time, which really did make me feel better.
Additionally, serotonin is one of the reasons that gut health is so important. The gut provides an incredible 95% of total body serotonin, so if you’re belly isn’t happy, which can lead to low serotonin levels, then you won’t be happy either!
. - Get Dressed and Leave the House! Just getting out of the house can do SO much good in the fight against depression or emotional breakdown. When you’ve been cooped up for long periods of time, “these four walls” can tell you lies. I fully believe that darkness and isolation are breeding grounds for negative mindsets.
Get yourself out among people. Do everything you can to get your mind off of yourSELF, and find someone to SERVE. Depression shrinks our world down to the welfare of ONE person… “me”… and we can be a heavy weight to bear! SERVING breaks the cycle of self-focus and opens us up to love, healing, and new relationships.
. - Laughter is Good Medicine! My daughter and I laughed as much as we possibly could while we were at the mall that day. Why? Because laughter really is the best medicine! (Proverbs 17:22)
This is another thing I learned in my own fight against depression. 1) Laughter reduces the stress hormones: cortisol, epinephrine, dopamine, etc. 2) It also increases your endorphin levels (the body’s natural pain-killer), 3) improves breathing, and 4) measurably strengthens your immune system… and – surprise, surprise – 5) laughter also increases serotonin production in the body. I highly recommend it!
How do we start laughing more? In the midst of one of my darkest seasons, I began watching a Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins, who I thought was hilarious at the time. I would laugh until I couldn’t breathe, and I would feel SO much better after. I watched his videos regularly, then branched out to funny memes, cute kitten or puppy videos, sweet baby and toddler videos, etc. Anything to lighten the mood… and it worked every time to distract my mind from automatically going to the negative. I still practice this today.
As we get older, laughter diminishes. When we were children, we would laugh and play all the time, but the older we got, the more serious things became. I challenge you to take back your laughter! Find something to truly laugh about every day, or as often as you can! Trust me, it will change your life.
. - Create Your Toolbox! I am free from depression now. I am healed, and my mind and body have been renewed. That doesn’t mean I don’t have low days… I still do. On those days, I pull out the depression toolbox I created years ago…
- Change your atmosphere.
- Get out of the house!
- Soak in the sunshine.
- Sow into Serotonin, the Happy Hormone.
- Drink more water.
- Eat an orange! (Vitamin C converts tryptophan into Serotonin!)
- Find ways to LAUGH… fully and often!
- Renew your mind.
- Speak out 10 things I’m grateful to God for, even in this moment.
- Write 10 scriptures that speak truth to what I’m struggling with.
- Listen to the Bible… speak it out or play it aloud on the Bible app. Faith comes by HEARING the Word of God (Romans 10:17).
- Distract your mind. Say NO to negative thoughts!!
- Watch a healthy movie (not harmful or sinful).
- Eat a healthy meal (not harmful or sinful).
- Read a healthy book (not harmful or sinful).
- Be creative: paint a picture, write a story, do some crafting…
- Organize your closet while listening to lively music.
- Dance in your living room.
- Bake cookies for the neighbors.
- Write encouragement cards for others.
- Join a Bible study.
- Find a place to volunteer.
- Stop thinking and DO something.
- Change your atmosphere.
Maybe there are a few more things you would add to your toolbox. Anything you can think of, as long as it’s not harmful or sinful, will help. There are things that might feel good in the moment, but those that are harmful or sinful will sow more into the darkness than into the light, ultimately making your situation worse.
The number one most important thing to do for depression, after prayer and asking for God’s help, is to go see a doctor. They can test to see if there is a physical cause for the way you are feeling. Plus, there are medicines that can be used in the short term that can help take the pressure off and allow you to get back into functioning normally again. I didn’t take them, but maybe I should have, at least for my family’s sake.
However, I don’t recommend them for the long term unless directed by a physician. Pray about it and see how God would lead you. See a doctor and ask for their direction. Maybe use medicines or holistic treatments to take the pressure off initially, and then fight to get free from depression altogether. With God’s help, you CAN overcome!
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
Psalm 42:5-6a
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.
Broken & Sown 