Irons in the Fire

I don’t want to live life alone. I’m married with three nearly grown kids, triple sets of parents, family and friends. I am truly blessed! I haven’t always KNOWN I was this blessed, but I very seriously am.

However, there is something deeper to be had by us all – myself, my family and friends, my kids, and by those who are reading this right now. Spiritual family.

The Bible talks about a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I believe this is Jesus, but I also believe this could very possibly be “Spiritual family” in the truest form.

Proverbs 27:17 in the Amplified version says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].”

How will my iron get sharpened if it’s the only one in the fire?

No man is an island entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…
Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.

John Donne

Part of my testimony is that God had to strip me down of everything I held dear and bring me to the end of myself so that He could surround me with people, which was the desire of my heart. I always felt so alone and rejected, but part of the Father’s process was to open my eyes and let me see those who’ve always been there – my family. I am wanted, loved, and cherished by them, and I always have been. But I couldn’t see it before.

I lived under such a heavy weight of rejection that I didn’t have the ability to believe anything else. I just knew that no one liked me, no one loved me, and I was completely alone. And it made me SO angry – SO sad – SO jealous of others – and SO starved for attention that I would do anything to get it.

But the Father brought me through the wilderness and set me free. My husband of 23 years will tell you if you ever get the chance to ask him… I’m a completely different person now.

• I no longer fear what people think of me… because I know what God thinks of me. He showed me that other people’s thoughts are none of my business. They are between that person and God.

• I don’t see rejection in facial expressions like I used to… now I can see a friend in the making – or someone who is struggling in themselves and needs a touch. I see the heartache and pain of others and their need for God.

• I no longer assume someone is mad at me or doesn’t like me just because they didn’t say hi to me… I go up and say hi to them! Or maybe I let them be and wait for another opportunity. Love is not shallow – it’s stands through every circumstance. It stands the test of time.

• I no longer have to be the best and brightest in the room to feel good about myself… because my worth rests in the Father’s love for me. Who am I to diminish someone when it’s their time to shine? Who am I to throw shade when I used to LIVE in the shade and I know just how dark it can be??

Now, I’m not perfect – the enemy’s plans for us never change. I sometimes feel the sting of rejection – and I am at times tempted to think like a rejected person once again. But temptation doesn’t mean that I am not free. Even falling back into rejection during hard times does not mean that I am a failure. I have learned to get back up again. I have learned to turn my eye away from the things that look like rejection and give them to the Lord. I turn my back on it and let it go like it doesn’t exist. I don’t dwell on it – I refuse to accept it – and I distract my mind from thinking those nasty, bound up thoughts. This makes room for the Lord to work in every relationship, in every situation, without me controlling things and making a mess.

This is called “resisting the devil.” When you do this, then he MUST flee. And he does. Every time.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Romans 12:16-18

There will always be others who are smarter, more beautiful, or more talented than we are – and that is perfectly okay! We are who God created us to be – and we have what He says we have. The Lord has given each of us the exactly perfect set of gifts and talents to accomplish all He has created us to achieve in this life – He gives abundantly more than we need, but not one ounce less. He chose YOU, He set YOU apart, He gave YOU a purpose and a calling, He gifted YOU and is preparing YOU at all times to grow and learn and be perfected in Him until the day of His return.

Say this with me… “I am loved and cherished by the God who saw me in my mother’s womb and said, ‘This one’s Mine. I choose her.’ I am not rejected. I am loved.” This knowledge alone gives more confidence than an ounce of human attention gained by selfish ambition EVER could!

Living under rejection makes us afraid to step out and connect with people. We don’t want to make waves. We don’t want anyone to reject us, or think bad things about us, or ignore us and walk away. We all know how that feels… lonely.

Fear reached its goal in my life. It succeeded in its strategy of leaving me feeling alone, depressed, helpless, and hopeless. I had alienated myself from everyone, but the Lord turned it around for my good.

How does an approval-addicted, insecure, fearful woman learn to depend only on the Lord and allow Him to set her free? By hitting rock bottom in a place where there is no one left to enable my addictions and fears. When all that’s left is you and God – that’s an amazing place to be!! No where to go but up…

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 

Romans 12:9-10

So, back to having all my irons in the fire. Iron is strong, hard… and magnetic. Have you ever heard of having a magnetic personality? My old personality alienated me away from others, but the personality given by freedom in the Lord draws others to itself… through real love, honest concern, and brotherly affection. Love that is supported by the strength and determination of iron is hard to beat! But iron cannot sharpen itself. I need people in the fire of life with me – and I need to be in the fire of life with others!

Fellowship, relationship, community, unity – deep conversation, hard talks – laying everything out on the table – expressing brotherly love and affection in a safe environment – laughter, lightness, and fun! This is the icing… the cherry on top of a life set free and seeking the Father.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:1-3

How many irons do you have in your fire? Are you in there all alone? Begin asking the Father to show you where your people are – that’s what I did all those many years ago. “Lord? Where are my people??” He will answer because you were not made to be alone. You need people so you can love and be loved. You need irons in the fire of life with you! It’s better to laugh when someone is laughing with you! It’s better to be hugged and smiled at and loved on than to be lonely and bitter and focused only on self. Life can get difficult, messy, and desperate – and it’s better to have people in your corner who will pray for you and help set things aright.

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
¹⁰ If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

It’s not too late to start sowing seeds of relationship and community today, right where you are. It’s not too late to learn how to love and be loved. If you are unlovable like I used to be, ask God to show you a better way! It’s definitely worth it.