Letting Go

There is nothing so powerful in all of this life as letting go. Within the Father’s design, through Jesus Christ, there is nothing so great a healer, nothing so much a peacemaker, nothing so complete in its simplicity and efficiency. This incredible theme is found throughout Scripture and very little can be done without it. The Father comes with His great love and healing power, and “letting go” is our perfect response.

We cause ourselves so much unneeded stress just by holding on when we need to let go. We hold on to so much that weighs us down, but it can be scary to hand over the keys of our lives to someone else.

There are many situations that require us to be intentional and driven. We’re used to taking the bull by the horns and getting the job done! We’re used to putting in our two cents, and going back to make situations right when we feel we messed up. If we’re being honest, we’re used to being in control.

And for many of us, life has thrown some pretty heavy curve balls, and control was all we had. Chaos feels safer when you are the one in the driver’s seat. But controlling behaviors put chains on our lives.

The need for control causes pain and heartache and striving… it brings sickness, anxiety, depression… ulcers, heart attacks, and high blood pressure… weight gain, hormone imbalance, and emotional outbursts… fear, confusion, and bondage…

It comes from pain, and seems to protect us, but in the end it brings death. Control doesn’t want to give you life. It wants to end it.

This sounds cliche, but it is crucial that we learn to overcome in this life through learning to “let go and let God.” After more than two decades of depression, anxiety… and so much trying to “get it right”… all roads led me to hopelessness and the desire for my life to end. After all that, through a seven-year period of breaking and rebuilding the foundation of my life, the Father set me free by teaching me how to LET GO.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Letting Go of the Past.

Letting go of the past will be different for every person. Some may need counseling or medical attention. Others may need something as simple as journaling and healthy distractions. We all come from different backgrounds, different experiences, so I can’t sit here and say, “just put it behind you and move on.” Some things will work like that, but other things very much will not.

But the one thing that remains the same, no matter the situation, is that the Father loves us and desires for us to be whole and healed and set free.

In Isaiah 43:18-19, He urges us to “remember not the former things” because He is doing a NEW thing! Proverbs 4:25 says to “let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you… then all your ways will be sure!” And Paul the Apostle tells us in Philippians 3:13-14 to “let go of the former things and STRAIN FORWARD for what lies ahead!”

Our Father wants us to be free from all that went before because He has a plan, and a purpose, and a new future for each of us. He is the one who knows how to get us there. All we have to do is ask Him.

My dad left when I was eight years old, and he didn’t come around much after that. Now that I’m nearly 47 and have lived half my life, I know that he loves me… in his own way… and we have talked it all out many times. The thing that helped me the most – and it is something I have applied to many situations – is knowing that my dad didn’t have perfect parents either… and his parents didn’t have perfect parents… and on up the line, generation before generation. How can my dad stay and love me, if he was broken or didn’t have the tools?

• Those who were neglected will often neglect others.
• Those who were abandoned will often abandon others.
• Those who were rejected will often reject others.
• Those who were unloved will often not know how to love others.
• Those who were abused will often abuse others.
• Those who had evil passed down to them will often do evil things to others.

This doesn’t make it right. But forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re saying what another person did is now okay. Forgiveness says you are now able to let it go and move on. It’s about allowing yourself to be free from the past. It’s about creating the possibility for a better future.

Letting Go of Yourself.

Getting to the end of ourselves is a lifelong journey, and so is learning to let go.

Can you imagine letting others control their own lives and do things the way they think is best? Can you imagine not giving your two cents unless you are specifically asked to do so? Can you imagine your husband giving you a direction that you don’t agree with… and just quietly doing it out of honor for his position in the family? Ouch, that hit home…

Can you imagine someone else being prettier, smarter, more talented than you, or getting more attention than you… without that familiar pang of jealousy? Can you imagine actually being happy for them?

My weakness was jealousy…

Jealousy is tyrannical. It is catastrophic. It is metaphysical. It feels controlling and you cannot escape. It feels as if every particle of self-control you have in your entire being is vaporized in one fell emotional swoop. It brings people to the end of themselves in a millisecond, and they are no longer the same people.

John Piper

When jealousy grabs hold of you, it changes who you are. Rooted in pride and fear of rejection, Jealousy says “what about ME???” but it’s not looking out for you… it’s trying to kill you.

I used to be very jealous and competitive, and it made me come off as mean, or as a bully, to others. My past desire to be better than everyone else so I could get all the attention in the room understandably drove people away. It was ugly. “I” was ugly.

I praise God that He allowed me to see that in myself and be disgusted by it. When I finally saw it, I was horrified and embarrassed, and I became desperate to be different! I didn’t know what I could do, but I knew the Father allowed me to see it for a reason… He wanted to renew my mind and set me free!

Jealousy is a monster. Jealousy is a liar. If the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy… jealousy makes it easy for him to succeed.

Jealousy makes us want to TRADE IN what the Creator of Everything DIED to give us so we can have what He died to give SOMEONE ELSE. He has a design for you that is PERFECT in its preparation. He desires to give you a hope and a future of YOUR OWN that’s specially made for YOU. Jealousy baits you into giving it all away for pleasures tainted with death…

Jealousy makes us like prostitutes ready to sell ourselves for approval – for attention – for human validation. Jealousy makes us murderers in our hearts, ready to do anything to get what we want. Jealousy makes us greedy and drives us insane.

Maybe jealousy isn’t your thing. Maybe you struggle with greed, competition, materialism, lust, or fear. All of these things, like jealousy, are rooted in our fleshly sinful nature. They only exist to end your life. And they can only come out by learning how to fight the right battle…

“And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].”

Romans 12:2 AMP

I can often be found sitting in a certain corner of the house with a mug of hot coffee, a stack of loose leaf notebook paper, and a pile of gel pens and highlighters. Just about every morning, I sit and write thoughts and prayers and scriptures, for this is how I fight my battles… I go to the Lord and spill my guts. I lay it all out on the table, and sometimes it’s not pretty… then I ask Him to tell me the Truth with His Spirit or in His Word.

These times can be beautiful, or they can be difficult. Sometimes His Truth brings peace, and sometimes it’s convicting. But either way, bearing my soul to the Father brings the one thing that can heal me and set me free… HUMILITY (1 Peter 5:6-7).

The enemy can steal nothing from a dead person. And we are to be dead to self and alive with Christ (Galatians 2:20). Dying to self, or finally letting go of yourself, means you know and have accepted the fact that your way leads to spiritual death and you need Jesus to show you the way to LIFE.

You Are Loved.

There is nothing lasting that can ever be built in our lives if we do not first know that we are loved unconditionally, just as we are. With all our past mistakes, all our current humanity, all our warts and crooked ways, we are loved. God chose us. Jesus died for us. We don’t have to earn it. It’s ours for the taking. We are imperfect, but He is not. We are impatient, but He is not. We get angry at ourselves when we mess up, but He does not. The Bible says that He remembers that we are dust – he holds our tears in a bottle. We didn’t choose Him, He chose us – (John 15:16).

Once you realize that you are unconditionally loved, and covered, protected, and empowered by unconditional Grace – you begin to become who the Father created you to be. He gives WORTH to the ones He loves, and that WORTH empowers us to hold out for His perfection.

And what does He expect from us in return? Faith. Trust. Obedience. Love. Leaning on His Grace. Learning to Let Go.